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we will build castles by the sea,
and keep walking as the water carries em home
because anything is better than, alone...
We will write our names in the sand
yes in the darkest part of the land
just as the tide comes in to sweep
and I promise I won't weep,
not this time...
Because I am a big girl
and you told me not to
so I silence my hurt
and keep holding on
mommy warned me about the world
she said things, many things like this:
dont you ever fall in love
all these boys really want
is for you to give it up
Mamma lived a harsh cold life
so she could save you from that kind
cause you know that you
cannot trust those fools
they will tell you anything
to get you on your back
Thats how I met your father
so please trust me on that
You see we were just kids
back in 86'
He was the hottest guy in school
you know, real cool
and even though I was a band geek
he somehow made me feel weak
You need understand
that if he's a real man
Hell kiss you on the hand
and leave you at the door
curious and wanting more
So that same guy,
without really saying why
sixteen years down the line
left us all behind
so what is the price to pay?
three kids, nowhere to stay
The rent is over due
we don't have any food
and that same loving fool
is off with his new beau
I was the smart girl,
the good girl, college bound
But I fell for him,
and that's how I found,
he was a good kid
only stupid
mommy turned around
cigarette in mouth
i could see it in her eyes,
the regret she couldn't hide
and bounces back into the sky
as I, a wastful human, humble
myself beneath it's rays and crumble
The song of the city slyly whistles through
the cracks between the sidewalk and my name-brand shoes
as he, a helpless human, simply finds a place to suffer
Cause his momma aint home cookin him a christmas supper
You see what we, wasteful we, fail to see,
is that man has no particular place to be
Even though snow is cold
and it is Christmas eve
Life don't get much better than this
when you're livin on the streets
waitin at the door for you..
Like a mindless porcelain doll
with no integrity at all
The past seven sleeps
have been nothin but nightmares
I know that you blame me
for all of the madness
But too bad for you,
I'm aware of the truth
youll no longer decide
how I will live my life
You can call me coward
You can say i'm weak
for givin up on our love
but you're not what i need
I have to tell you somethin,
Leavin you was so damn hard,
but you weren't in this for me
i knew it from the start
If anything this tought me,
don't ever give your all
and even though im sorry
i wont take the fall
Because, enough is enough
when its too much, too much
You forgot how to touch
I forgot how to feel
underneath it all
I knew it wasnt real
but I kept you in my life
regardless of the lies
Kept tellin myself
it'd get better with time
But now I am older, and wiser as well
You can take all your insults with you to hell
The warning signs were there all along
But i was too blind to call you out
Deep inside you know you are wrong
but you have your head in the clouds
Fictitious, malicious, of evil intent
they only know the man you invent
Too bad while you were asleep in your bed
I lifted the mask that sheltered you head
I saw the monster thats seething inside
a man of morals is no where to find
You are the image of the antichrist
beautiful bundle of insipid lies
As we lay here in the dark
Helplessly clinging to memories
in which we somehow believed
In us...
Wasting away with our thoughts
all of the days that we fought
but when you're fighting gravity
you must face reality
you and I were never meant..to..be
And there's a part of me wishing
for the end to finally come
But I'm so afraid of what I'll do
when you're gone
And why do you have to be so cold?
In these times where I need you the most?
Caught in the twilight of love
where you're not quite ready to give up...
And there's so much left to say
but no one opens up
cause you don't want to blame
or feel any fault
But there isn't any way
to avoid this talk
It's time to walk away
Caught in a twiligh of love
sadly it's time to give up
the hour hand follows behind
The courage it takes to go further
is weighing me down all the time
I hear the music you're singing
sweet soothing blend of sounds
Neither of us can be winning
when we haven't spoken in months
The silence suffocates
The anger perforates
Talk to me wont you please
don't make me want to leave
Desperate attempts to salvage the past
When all along it could never last
I figured it'd be easier to stay
right there in the bed where I am safe
where the world can't reach me and steal my dreams away
How long ago was it a part of me died?
The teen-aged girl that loved to rock the mic?
She didn't give a damn
about college exams
She lived to walk the stage
But life took that away
She fought back and lost,
Payed her dream for the cost
Fifteen-minutes of fame
What a fucking waste
There are just some things that make me tick, like a time bomb waiting to explode. In the room next door I hear football jerks obnoxiously recounting their oh-so-interesting tales of touchdowns and scores. The only thing their likely to score is crabs. I can't believe I had the perfect floor, but the worst roommate, and now I have the perfect roommate but the worst floor. What beautiful luck I have. So these football jerks are going on about whose biceps can beat whose and such other bullshit that only weak-minded self-ritious monkies like themselves actually give a shit about. All the while I sit in my bed pondering story ideas, and who do I choose to waste my time writing about? The same assholes that are tresspassing on my brain as I type these very words, the same assholes that as I speak are trying to plow one or both of the girls that reside in the room to the right of mine. Huh. Isn't life strange?
So today I was supposed to go to a dance here at school, only I wasn't feeling good so I napped instead.
Damn those fuckers are loud. I wish I could smash their heads together like coconuts. LOL wouldn't that be funny? Nahh they do that to themselves everyday at football practice, maybe that's why they don't listen when I ask them to please shut their mouths. Hmm. Theories.
I know the RA has to be hearing this shit! There is no way anyone on this floor is sleeping through it.
So today I had my long day of classes... All the while I was looking forward to hearing back from the Student Gov about the trip to costa rica..maybe their late with their choices.. or maybe I didn't get in.. Second one's more likely.. oh well.. There's always next years, by the way, if you haven't noticed when I type alot of periods after something it means I am disappointed.
I don't know if i've ever met anyone as obnoxious and inconsiderate as these jocks next door. They feed my prejudice more with every snide remark, with every loud bout of laughter trailed with heaving gasps for air. Cigarettes+physical activity=fail.
Anyway I'm off to try to sleep. If I can't I'll call public saftey. :] fuckers.
- Mood:
angry
